12.14.2017

Revisiting my 2017 power word

Someone just asked, "Sum up 2017 in one word." It caught me off guard because, wow! How can I do that?! But more importantly it got me to thinking, what was my power word for 2017 anyhow.

So I looked back and found it. Fortitude.

It never ceases to amaze me when I reflect back on the year from the perspective of my power word it is always a good fit. 

Fortitude: Courage in the face of adversity, courage in pain, courage when the going gets tough. I said I would not let what others say or do bring me down.

I am not sure I was 100% successful especially with that last part. Just this morning I let someone's criticism not only bring me down but so far down that I strayed from the good and loving person I wanted to be to an angry, heart broken woman in tears all because of hurtful words. It is crushing.

But 2017 has indeed tested me in more ways than one. It has been the hardest year emotionally even when compared to the year my father died. Depression and anxiety have been unbearable on so many days and to be brutally honest, the past three months such a burden. Plus so many loved ones have been diagnosed with cancer this year that that I find it hard to focus.

And as I sat at the table wondering what next, how will I go on, and clinging to my prayers and bible it hit me. I would not be able to take one ounce of this without my faith. It has been so hard but my faith has held me up. God has been with me every step of the way and that is a comfort. I am never alone. Even if people on Earth, especially those closest to me leave me feeling unloved and abandoned, God will not abandon me.

When I started this post I had no thought of announcing my 2018 power word. Hey, I didn't even know what it was! I was just going to reflect on 2017 and the fortitude I asked for, needed, and received. But as I type with teary eyes I feel the calling to announce my 2018 word that God placed on my heart......JOY.

Dear God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change those I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Please, grant me my wish for a more joy-filled 2018 and may I let go of my burden, accept the help offered to me, especially the help from your precious son, Jesus. Help me to let go of the should's and should not's. Life is not how I envisioned it to be but I trust in you and know it is how you want it to be. I may not see the path but may be heart remain full of your joy and my confidence in you. Thank you for the gift of faith. I can only pray all others can receive this precious gift too.

In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen

And who knows, maybe in 2018 I will get my running vibes back but regardless, I will be thankful for all that I can do. I did not give up on my streak. I did not give up on life. I will not give up on joy, peace, and all the wonders that God is ready and waiting to shower down on us all. 

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