Change is in the air
But not all changes are the empty the basket of apples kind of changes. One change is I signed up to be a lector at church. Seriously, this seems so simple. Just read. But it was a LONG road. It had been on my heart for months gently knocking. I would write down the number to call week after week for weeks but yet, never pick up the phone to call. I really can't give you any good reason. Then on Good Friday darling daughter and I walked into church for mass and the Stations of the Cross. As I walked in I was asked if I would read at one of the stations. I hesitated a bit but then said, "Yes". I got my card and read my part and moved on. Fast forward a few weeks and I was at the back of the church looking for a Charity Walk form and Emily came to me, said she heard me read at the Stations of the Cross, and asked if I ever thought about being a lector. Well yes, I just wrote your number down again in my planner to call you just last week. Training starts on the 17th and I am excited. Super excited. I can't give you one good reason about why I never called except perhaps fear if I was enough. If I would be accepted. If I could read in front of a crowd. Oh nelly! I need to read in front of the whole congregation!!! YIKES!!!! Fear. It is a nasty emotion.
But let's move on.
My life is full of those small little knocks...such as the 54 day novena for my marriage. Things aren't always peachy keen for dear hubby and I and it has been on my heart for months to try this approach presented by Mother Miriam to another wife who wanted to pray more/better to improve her marriage. I finally broke down and started it and am working my way through it. What took me so long? I didn't think I could do it. I thought I would fail to make it every night for 54 nights. But how would I know if I never tried?
And the knocks continue with opportunities presenting themselves to me left and right and some I am not ready to talk about as I am still discerning God's will. Do I or don't I? What is holding me back? Fear. 99.99% of the time it is fear. Am I enough? Can I do this? Will I fail? Thing is, you will never know if you never try. And you will never know how much you can do if you don't put in the effort.
So in another avenue in life I started a newsletter: Life Matters. It is tied into my pro-life advocacy and Silent No More commitment (which I also recently stepped up to the plate on and pushed that fear of being judged to the side). If you want to sign up for the newsletter you can do so HERE. It will come out monthly and this month's focused on Mother's Day and how some moms are mourning the loss of their children. My heart goes out to all parents who have lost a child. The pain is deep and real and they truly do need our love, mercy, and compassion.
I love all these changes in my life and what I am doing. Truly, I do. But I would be lying if they haven't left me feeling unsteady and fearful at times. Vulnerable at other times. I don't know what will come of following each and every path I am asked to follow but I have faith, if I do as I am called to do, something wonderful will come out of it all! And if that is only pleasing God by following His calling, that is more than enough for me!
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful for the opportunities in my life.
Daily Bible Verse: Because I have called and you refused to listen, have stretched out my hand and no one has heeded, because you have ignored all my counsel and would have none of my reproof, I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when terror strikes you, when terror strikes you like a storm and your calamity comes like a whirlwind, when distress and anguish come upon you. Then they will call upon me, but I will not answer; they will seek me diligently but will not find me. ... ~Proverbs 1:24-33