Yesterday I received my October bling from Running on the Wall. In case you missed it, I am a Running on the Wall athlete, which means I get the opportunity to run a virtual run each month. This month the virtual run was the "If it doesn't challenge you it doesn't change you 10K" and right now, running has been a huge challenge.
To make a long story short, just over a week ago I got the news that I (along with other co-workers) am being furloughed one day a week. This was crushing news as our family budget is already stretched tight with no wiggle room. Dear hubby doesn't even get to watch football! We have no cable. Poor guy but I am arranging some get together's that allow him to perhaps seem a bit of a game here and there. Gotta love good friends! As much as I have my faith in God and that He will take care of us, as He always does, I still have been under this crushing weight of worry. So getting this bling was a good motivator to keep running on the treadmill today and try to find my strong.
Let me tell you....that 10K was hard! I ran along feeling heavy with rubbery weak legs and I knew it wasn't physical. It was all mental. As I ran on I did what I often do. I reflect on life, I talk to God, and I try to find my happiness and strong. At one point today as I was struggling with my easy pace wondering how on Earth I was going to run a marathon come December and why I was failing on letting go of my worry and stress. Why couldn't I just let go of this burden that I was entrusting to God? I have faith so why am I clinging to this heaviness and letting it weigh me down.
Then it hit me. My mind went to Jesus carrying the cross. He fell down. He struggled and I gotta say, his cross must have weighed a TON. My burden pales in comparison to the cross he carried for ALL of our sins. All I could do was run on and think, if he carried such a burden why am I complaining? I will carry my burden alongside him. I thought of Jesus praying that he didn't really want to go through the passion and asked if there was any other way but quickly accepting and stating that it would be God's will that would be done and he agreed to follow that will. Talk about a huge light bulb going off. Trusting God doesn't mean I will be without suffering, worries, stress, or burdens. It means keeping the faith when I am burdened. Keeping the faith when I feel I am being crushed.
Handing my burdens over to God didn't mean I would feel happy go lucky and run strong with no effort in life. It meant carrying those burdens knowing I will be okay. And guess what? As I imagined Jesus attaching his yoke to me the weight on my shoulders did lessen. He is beside me helping me along my path in life. Yes, this is a bumpy road but like the virtual run I was running...without challenges in life I won't change and grow. And yes, I completed the 10K and ran an additional 4 miles afterwards. I also went on to do 15 minutes of yoga but then it was time to clean-up and take darling daughter to her horse lessons. All in all, a successful run even though I wanted/hoped for at least 14 miles. I will run more tomorrow. Her make-up lessons from missing Thursday took priority.
I am being challenged physically through my training for the Honolulu Marathon and emotionally and spiritually through my family's current financial hurdle but I am growing. I opened my craft store and got to making crocheted items I always talked about trying to sell. And yes, there are ads on my blog now. It was something that I have been pondering to do for months and I finally bit the bullet and did it. There are other dreams I have for my family's future and I am taking action and trying to make my dreams come true. And in all of this, I am trying to remain positive for my family and to not break down in tears too often. I want to keep Jesus close to my heart, I want to remain attached firmly to his yoke in faith, and I want to go down this road because yes, it is changing me and I believe it is changing my life for the better.
On a happy note, check out this race's bling a bit more!
An awesome lightweight tank top, a cap that is lightweight and the front part is made from material that you can find in a wetsuit (very cool), a nice big magnet that is on my fridge now, and a medal PLUS you can get a second medal...perfect for my buddy! All of this and a race bib. Ready, set, go! Are you ready to run?
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful for the heavy rain coming AFTER darling daughter's horse lesson today.
Daily Bible Verse: For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ~ Matthew 11:30