8.17.2015

GUILTY: The Comparison Game

I have been running long enough to know that I should never compare myself to others and I am really good at saying I don't but then I realized....I was.

It wasn't the I want to run as fast as she can, or as long as he can, or anything like that. It was plain and simple, darnit...they are nailing their training plan and I am flailing. This training cycle has been a crazy roller coaster, much like every other one I have gone through. I honestly believe it is because I am a full-time employee, a mom, and a wife devoted to my family and faith as much as I am devoted to running. I only have so many hours in a day and life has a magical way of creeping up on you and provided you with twists, turns, etc.

The past 10 days or so have been ridiculously busy and it was that "final week" before things start tapering down for real. I was annoyed I wasn't finding the time and/or energy to nail my runs and I was in a delicate balance game between pushing myself just enough and pushing myself too far and risking injury or illness. And then it dawned on me. I wasn't upset about the training I had done. I was upset I wasn't training like "they" were.

That is the crazy thing about social media. You can easily see how far or long someone ran but you don't always see what obstacles they are facing, how full their days are, how they are feeling about x, y, or z. You just think...I didn't do that. And I am not alone. I have a runner friend who recently confessed her own running life jealousy as others post their accomplishments and she thought, but I only did this.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Seriously! We are all rocking the boats we have been given in a very awesome way! Yes, you are rocking the boat beautifully!

The Kaua'i Marathon means a lot to me and I am not selling myself short when I say I do not expect to PR, I expect it to be hard, and I hope to run well and finish strong. I have another marathon in December and perhaps a third in January. I know this isn't my A race in terms of pace but I hope it to be my A race in terms of FAITH and COURAGE. In all reality, many could consider it a training run for my next two marathons and I should do the same.

My body is trained and ready to go. Yes, I would have LOVED more long runs in the 18+ mile range but that is okay. By December my training will be remarkable if I come out of Kaua'i strong and able to keep on going and that is my goal. I am going to have a BLAST on Kaua''i as it is another part in my marathon journey.

Running isn't all about the races. Those are icing on the cake and can help make you feel good and that is perfectly fine by me. I am ready to indulge in some race time delight and to hang out in an AWESOME resort with my family. I will pour my heart in soul into my race but I will stop looking down, feeling sorry for myself, and wishing I ran as long as she did or as far as he did or as fast as they did with the belief that they are nailing their training every single day. I am running my race my way and at the end of the day, I just pray God says, "Well done good and faithful servant, well done." What could be better than that?

Daily Gratitude: I am glad I realized I was guilty of comparing myself to others so I could put an end to it all.

Daily Bible Verse: His master said to him, "Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master." ~ Matthew 25:21

4 comments:

  1. Yes! Everyone is coming to the race with a different life, different level of training, and a different expectation. We are all so different. Good thoughts.

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    1. Thank you Cynthia. I just need to remember these thoughts in the down times.

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  2. I think the older I get the less I care about what others are doing and have learned to focus more on what is best for me and what makes me happy. There are some benefits to aging :)

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    1. Yes! We do get wiser with age although I still stumble at times.

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