2.09.2015

Motivational Monday: Endurance

Endurance training and racing can make you stronger in many aspects of your life; however, I still find it funny that at times the thought that "running a marathon is easier" crosses my mind.

This past weekend would have been one of those times. It was birthday party time for darling daughter and yes, I crammed it into the weekend between the race I direct, Run & Walk for the Whales, and the biggest event at work, World Whale Day....which happens to be on Valentine's Day this year. In case you have never directed a race or helped to put on a huge event, it is hard work! Draining work. But yet, fun work. Putting on a birthday party for six and seven year old's....that is a job! I am still trying to find the fun in it all. Okay, I can see the good points but I also see areas I could have improved personally to make the event smoother.

Being an endurance runner may also make you think you can do it all when in all reality, you need more help. Things got out of control when I was in the kitchen getting pizza for the kiddo's in the oven. Darling daughter lost her temper and started yelling. Oh my! I removed her from the room and tried to get her to calm down but unfortunately, this is her big cross. Calming down. She has a really hard time, has admitted she doesn't know how, and it is something we are working very hard on. Unfortunately my efforts were split between her and trying to get dear hubby focused on the other kiddo's and getting a game going for them. This all happened early on in the party and we had smooth sailing for the rest of the evening and throughout the sleepover until.....I stepped outside to help carry some stuff out for a mom and returned to my daughter yelling again. She said a child screamed in her ear and I really don't know what happened as at this point dear hubby was at work. I got things calmed down, darling daughter apologized to the other girl, they hugged and made up, and I was afraid to leave the room for one second as the previous issue involved this same little girl...and her mom was an hour late picking her up.

I was drained and yes, running a marathon would have been easier.

But why am I telling this "sad" story as part of motivational Monday? Well, for one main reason. For the longest time I felt like the worst mom ever with a kid that blows her top. I felt embarrassed and ashamed. Those feelings are still circling within me and my heart is still a bit heavy. I confided my feelings to my sister and she assured me I am not the worst mom ever and even tried to make me feel better by pointing out I took on a big task --- a slumber party for six and seven year old's. I also reached out to my buddy's mom yesterday and she pointed me to some additional sources of information to help my child more with this issue (anger mismanagement)...and sent me prayers.

When I talked to darling daughter more about this over the weekend she responded that yes, "she is bad and I want her to be perfect." NO! That is not the message! I was sure to make her understand that she is NOT bad, the behavior was bad. And no, I don't want or expect her, or anyone else, to be perfect BUT I do expect her to not yell at her friends. She cuddled up to me and told me she got it and was very sorry....but she still had to go without playing with her new toys until Sunday evening (the party was Friday) as a consequence for yelling at her friend.

The thing is, we all have crosses to bear. We all will suffer and struggle at times but it is through
those moments that we grow and become stronger. As a mom, it tears at my heart to see my daughter going through this struggle. I want to ease all her pain but also know, sometimes going through that tough point is exactly what you need to do to find your strong and your joy on the other side. It is like busting through the wall when running a marathon. Making it beyond mile 18 when you are ready to quit and finding yourself at the finish line. It is all part of the journey and no journey is 100% roses and butterflies.

I am writing this post just for that reason. No child is 100% wonderful all the time. No human is. We all have struggles, short falling's, and strengths. I don't want one mom feeling that she is not enough when her child rebels, resists, struggles, falls down, or needs a little extra lifting up. I know how as moms we can feel we are being judged but I say, enough with that. Let's be honest and help each other when needed. Let's share our strengths and work as a team to raise the next generation to be loving, kind, supporting, and non-judgmental.

Daily Gratitude: I am thankful I have friends and family I can reach out to in times of need.
Daily Bible Verse: Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering  produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love  has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. ~ Romans 5:3-5

Our new mantra.....

"I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up, I count to 10. Tip me over and pour me out."

21 comments:

  1. Kids have freak outs, and sometimes they don't understand exactly what they did wrong or how to fix it, but you sitting down with her and trying to explain and making sure she knows that you still love her and that it will be ok is how she'll learn how to behave moving forward. Growing up is all about learning, and it seems like you're a doing a great job teaching.

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    1. Mahalo Nicole and yes, kids will have freak out moments....some adults too. ;)

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  2. I love your tea pot mantra. I definitely need to keep this in mind the next time I got frustrated with somebody. Instead of releasing everything I'm feeling, I need to take a deep breath, step away, and then revisit the issue after some time has passed.

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    1. It is a skill I am trying to master myself but often once I take a few moments to catch my breath and chill, I can respond versus react.

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  3. Love your new mantra... that is a song I used to sing and do actions with when I was a child, too.

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    1. :) It just popped into my head after our discussion and the idea of singing a song with "hear me shout" didn't settle well.

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  4. I'm dealing with some things with my daughter who is 12 and just going through that preteen stuff. It isn't easy but all of us are great mothers. And just know stay prayed up and they will grow past it.

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    1. Preteen stuff....I am not ready for that! Good luck and you are doing great.

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  5. I've come to the conclusion that every child will challenge you in some way - just each child is different and some children are more publicly challenging. You got this. And that's a great mantra.

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    1. Good point that some kids are more publicly challenging. Somewhere in that there must be a sign of a strength -- less fear of embarrassment???

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  6. You have a great perspective with this.

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  7. Great post, and wonderful perspective. And yes, I agree, running a marathon is 100X easier than so many things we emotionally have to deal with!

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    1. Isn't it??? But yet it always helps prepare us for what we deal with daily.

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  8. http://www.runningrachel.com/2015/02/fitting-fitness/

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  9. Great post. Great mantra! :)

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  10. Amen! I love that verse from Romans. Paul was a pretty spot on guy. My middle child has the ability to break me on a daily basis. Motherhood is tough but we'll figure it out one day at a time.

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  11. So odd I am sure I commented on this yesterday but don't see it here! You organized a race the same day as a birthday party for your daughter? That's crazy

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  12. KIDS! lol you def had a super crazy weekend

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  13. I think you handled the situation great. Kids can definitely have their meltdown moments just like we can as adults!

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