|A run always makes me feel better|
And I am discouraged that so far my virtual run for Down Syndrome Awareness and Toby is showing little to no interest. I realize it is not a contest but I had a dream of being able to tell Toby and his family how many people care enough to say yes, I will dedicate my run to you even if I am getting nothing in return. I have done so many virtual runs personally and I love them. It seems the ones I host only hold interest if I offer prizes and as much as I see how that can be motivating sometimes it leaves me discouraged. I don't want to bribe people into doing things. I want to motivate people to do things and that brings me to the next point.
Am I being too focused on personal achievements? Should I care less, do what I feel is best for myself and mankind, and let the chips fall where they lie so to speak? Life is not a contest for me. I am not trying to be better than anyone else. I am just trying to be the best me and to do the work that I was meant to do. Am I off course? Is this what I am to do? I feel lost and discouraged.
I picked up my bible and aimed to do some reflection and mediation last night before bed but dear hubby kept interrupting me. He obviously wanted to talk and bond. I felt annoyed. Couldn't he see I was trying to find some answers for myself? But by shunning him am I being unloving? I put down my bible and turned my attention to my husband and the football game. I can't say I feel 100% good about it. The teams playing held no true interest for me but if I am striving to enhance my marriage am I achieving that by focusing on my studies? Did watching football make a difference? I really don't know and yes, I feel discouraged especially since all conversation died after I put my bible down.
But even through this heavy weight of feeling discouraged in so many aspects of life I found encouragement. I ran an easy mile today. A rest day mile. I was going to run 7 miles to make up for feeling bad last weekend but when it came down to the time to start running it hit me, run a mile. It means more to have fresher legs tomorrow and nail my 16 mile run. That would feel great. Afterwards I moved onto my plank and push up challenge. I saw that today had some scary sets for push up's: 20/10/10/8. I cringed. I saw it also had 3:30 minutes for planks. Yikes. I was scared, put on some nice tunes, and tackled it. And you know what? I did it! After the first set of 20 push up's I felt...dare I say it...encouraged. My hard work is paying off. This challenge is making a difference even though I am not doing it daily as I should. At the beginning of the month I could hardly pull off 10 push up's in a row. Progress! And my plank routine - tough but done. Yay!
When darling daughter woke up I told her Mommy did 48 push up's today. I felt wonderful. She told me good job. That felt nice. Then she said I should work my way to 100. Oh my! Am I up to the challenge? Will I let that discouraged feeling sink in? I hope not.
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful for cooperation.
Daily Affirmation: I have it in me to see beyond my discouraged heart to the goodness in the world.