10.17.2014

Discouraged

Hopes and dreams are common for all of us and this week I am feeling a bit discouraged and lost. My buddy's family had hopes and dreams that aren't manifesting and won't right now. They are mourning and my heart is feeling heavy for them. In fact, the night I read the news I wept a little as I put my head down to sleep. I just felt bad for them but know that in time the great plan for their lives will reveal itself. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and try really hard not to get discouraged.

A run always makes me feel better
But then I come home to a table covered with papers, grass and mud on the floor I just cleaned, and a piles of dishes to put away...some of which need to be rewashed since that salad dressing is oily and so hard to clean from the little plastic tubs. I get it. It is hard. I try not to get annoyed at dear hubby. I go to grab my vinegar only to discover wine under the kitchen sink because I guess that is easier then moving my protein powders to put it on that shelf where it usually goes. I lost my cool. I was annoyed, tired, and needed a run. I wasn't slow to anger at all and I feel discouraged. I am trying really hard not to respond negatively to the small things in life but I failed to take a deep breath, count to ten, and move on.

And I am discouraged that so far my virtual run for Down Syndrome Awareness and Toby is showing little to no interest. I realize it is not a contest but I had a dream of being able to tell Toby and his family how many people care enough to say yes, I will dedicate my run to you even if I am getting nothing in return. I have done so many virtual runs personally and I love them. It seems the ones I host only hold interest if I offer prizes and as much as I see how that can be motivating sometimes it leaves me discouraged. I don't want to bribe people into doing things. I want to motivate people to do things and that brings me to the next point.

Am I being too focused on personal achievements? Should I care less, do what I feel is best for myself and mankind, and let the chips fall where they lie so to speak? Life is not a contest for me. I am not trying to be better than anyone else. I am just trying to be the best me and to do the work that I was meant to do. Am I off course? Is this what I am to do? I feel lost and discouraged.

I picked up my bible and aimed to do some reflection and mediation last night before bed but dear hubby kept interrupting me. He obviously wanted to talk and bond. I felt annoyed. Couldn't he see I was trying to find some answers for myself? But by shunning him am I being unloving? I put down my bible and turned my attention to my husband and the football game. I can't say I feel 100% good about it. The teams playing held no true interest for me but if I am striving to enhance my marriage am I achieving that by focusing on my studies? Did watching football make a difference? I really don't know and yes, I feel discouraged especially since all conversation died after I put my bible down.

But even through this heavy weight of feeling discouraged in so many aspects of life I found encouragement. I ran an easy mile today. A rest day mile. I was going to run 7 miles to make up for feeling bad last weekend but when it came down to the time to start running it hit me, run a mile. It means more to have fresher legs tomorrow and nail my 16 mile run. That would feel great. Afterwards I moved onto my plank and push up challenge. I saw that today had some scary sets for push up's: 20/10/10/8. I cringed. I saw it also had 3:30 minutes for planks. Yikes. I was scared, put on some nice tunes, and tackled it. And you know what? I did it! After the first set of 20 push up's I felt...dare I say it...encouraged. My hard work is paying off. This challenge is making a difference even though I am not doing it daily as I should. At the beginning of the month I could hardly pull off 10 push up's in a row. Progress! And my plank routine - tough but done. Yay!

When darling daughter woke up I told her Mommy did 48 push up's today. I felt wonderful. She told me good job. That felt nice. Then she said I should work my way to 100. Oh my! Am I up to the challenge? Will I let that discouraged feeling sink in? I hope not.

Daily Gratitude: I am thankful for cooperation.
Daily Affirmation: I have it in me to see beyond my discouraged heart to the goodness in the world.

15 comments:

  1. I think it can be discouraging at times when our personal interests/challenges/causes don't seem to be important to other people. I try to remind myself that everyone has their own issues and just work on doing the best I can do for myself. If I can take my ego out of it, it is so much easier.

    I hope you have a great weekend!

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    1. You are so right Elle about taking our egos out of things. :)

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  2. All of us feel discouraged from time to time. I always try to remember the positive. Oh and go for a run to clear my head. Have a fabulous weekend!

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    1. Runs are instant mind clearers!

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  4. One really strong endurance athlete I know told me "whether you are feeling good or bad doesn't matter because it is about to change." Same with life. Act on things that inspire you and more will follow plus you get to do the fun part. Everything else follows.

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    1. Now that hit me exactly where it should. Yes, have faith in your plan and yourself and forward. Thank you so much!

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  5. I am sorry to hear how discouraging things have been. Sometimes I find this time of year can bring about this kind of feeling. Keep doing what you are doing and being the positive person that you are and life will reward you.

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    1. Thanks so much are you are right about the time of year.

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  6. When I get discouraged, am quick 2 anger or don't get the results I want yes, it 's time for me to take a step back, measure my intentions and call on the Lord to show me the right path.

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  7. Hugs. I think we all have those times where we feel discouraged. Way to shake it off and do those push ups with your daughter. :)

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  8. Ugh, this time of year is hard and with the holidays around the corner things just get crazier. I missed your post about running for Toby, but I have remedied that--I may walk it, but I will do it for sure! Hope you're starting to feel better.

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  9. It is discouraging when something means so much to you. I love that you were able to find encouragement.

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  10. I am sorry you have had a hard time, "this too shall pass" is my go to thought when I feel this way and of course I run. I will check out your virtual run for Toby too.

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  11. Life IS hard, but it is times like these that remind us to take the time to be thankful for all that we do have and remember you can only change things that you can control... Remember the serenity prayer ~

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