I doubt my legs right now. After a wonderful, yet speedy, run on Wednesday followed up with some mile repeats my right IT band tightened up. I responded logically. I foam rolled. I stretched. I cut back mileage and speed the next couple of days. Come Saturday, I really didn't have the heart to run. I was doubtful of my capability. And that can definitely impact performance. But darling daughter and I headed to the gym, I was prepared with the supplies to run 9-10 miles, but my mind was doubtful. After 2 miles I was bored and figured, hey, if I toss in some drills on the treadmill it may pep up my spirit. I did some different stuff for 5 minutes and figured, get back to the run. After 0.5 miles of feeling tortured with each step, I called it quits and headed over to the foam rollers for some love and stretching. During that time I came to terms with the fact that each day can't be great and went to pick up darling daughter. I felt weak. She wanted to know why I was so quick. I told her I didn't have my running legs and that not all runs can be wonderful. She told me to go try again. After thinking for a moment I figured why not. I did another 2 miles, the best miles of the day, and went back to get her. I was happier.....for awhile.
We then headed to the store and my right IT band was tightening up and I could feel it in my knee. Doubts. Did I do the wrong thing? Was it bad to go another 2 miles? Am I going down the road to injury? Am I injured? Can I continue my running streak? Did I make two bad running calls in one week?
I told you, they plague you. But mine go deeper. Will I be able to run the half marathon on the 23rd? Will I be successful or will I have a DNF or worse yet, a DNS (did not start)?
Yesterday I tried to be smart. I ran only a mile. A very slow mile outside. My leg didn't hurt at all. I iced, I rested (as much as I could), I did the Epsom salt bath I love so much. But at the end of the day, my leg was feeling tight. Dear hubby massaged it, for the second night in a row. I felt like my IT band was releasing as it is less tender. I felt hopeful.
And then I woke up this morning. All was good until my walk into work. I felt a little something where my IT was the most tender last night. Doubts. Is it getting worse again? Or is it just the ache of being manipulated thoroughly in a massage? Was the massage a bad idea? Should I ice now? Should I apply heat? Will I be able to run?
Daily Gratitude: I am grateful for a supportive online community of runners who might be able to give me a good kick in the butt right now.
Daily Affirmation: I will find the strength to overcome my doubts.