If you follow me on Daily Mile you may already know that my week started out with some "rest day" runs and I thought I was on the verge of a recovery week. I gotta say, I am still on that recovery week course.
There is a delicate balance between running and resting. You need both to get stronger and better at running. And either one can be hard from time to time. I love to run and love to run every day....seriously. And as much as I think it is cool to kick back and put my feet up, I kinda suck at that part. There is just way too much to do with being a full-time employee, mom, wife, and runner. And when I do finally sit/lay down it seems my mind is way too busy to actually feel like I am resting.
And then there is that darn guilt. Guilt over things I should have done, should be doing, etc. And right now the nagging guilt is that I am detouring from my training plan a lot this week. I have done this every time in the past but I wanted this cycle to be different. But it won't. It can't. I am tired.
Being tired in itself isn't a reason for me to ease up on running. In fact, often times a run is just what I need to perk up and get my energy levels back up. And the tired associated with my chronic and annoying cold sore/rash outbreaks is not a reason to cut back running at all. I can run through that. But there are other factors at play right now. Work is intensely stressful and all those worries have culminated in having to take on some furlough days again this year. Hopefully just two a month until the end of the year but that hurts an already tight budget. Stress makes me tired. It impacts my sleep too much to not. But running can alleviate stress and ease that, right? But I am still tired to the core and perhaps it is training related.
Check out my miles post-marathon.
No huge high mileage weeks but still, a pretty steep building back up in weekly miles. 11 miles in the week after (recovery week), 19 miles, 26 miles, 36 miles, and 10 miles so far this week. As much as I want to keep building perhaps this exhaustion is my body saying, hey, give me a week to catch back up. And that is why I am accepting a recovery week this week. I think I need it.
But recovery week doesn't mean slack off week to me. I kicked butt and pulled off my tempo run yesterday morning before work. Yep, I did an easy mile, 4.61 miles at tempo pace, and an easy cool down and it was still dark when I drove to work afterwards. I am proud of that mainly because I was tempted to not do it....to postpone the speed/tempo day but mentally I really didn't want to. Wednesdays are my "push it" day and I intended to push it! Success! And I felt good afterwards.....awesome good.....but still very tired at the end of the day.
So as much as I wanted to get up at 4:00 am this morning, I couldn't. Darling daughter wrapped her arm around me and snuggled in tighter and I silenced the alarm. I laid in bed and relaxed. I may have zoned in and out of slumber but I didn't really sleep more. I relaxed and enjoyed the moment. It was bliss. And yes, dear hubby offered a little massage but I just wanted to lay undisturbed. I think me saying no upset him but I can't worry about that. I am tired of worrying about what I say and hurting people's feelings over trivial things. Yes, I believe in being polite and courteous but no, I don't need to accept a massage if I don't want one. There is no harm in saying no at times. I have so little energy right now and I can't waste it on worrying about small stuff. I really shouldn't worry about the bigger stuff either. It will all be okay. And the run I "skipped" this am, it will happen later at home....no worries. Darling daughter and I already have our plan!
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful my sister's growth was benign.
Daily Affirmation: I am creating healing energy in my life.