8.22.2012

Serenity

First, after writing this post yesterday I talked to family and friends, and read your comments, and got my head screwed back on right again. I love to blog and I feel I am fully capable of doing so and keeping my family safe. And the vulnerability I was feeling had nothing really to do with blogging per se. I will get back to that in a moment.

I wanted to post today but then thought, no. I am going to take a break and reflect on things while training my butt off but then I really, really, really wanted to share my thoughts this morning....and in particular, this prayer.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."

This prayer has popped in and out of my mind throughout my lifetime and it sprang back into me today.

Let's look at this week and what left me feeling vulnerable.

Issue: Unquestionable/icky site linking to my blog
Reality: I can't control this. I did talk to a techy friend who confirmed such...unless I want to make my site private but he went on to point out what I already know, it kinda defeats the purpose of writing a motivational running blog.
What I will do: Not get paranoid over a few hits (really, just 8) over 24 hours. And you know what, I can just not look too and I usually don't look at the analytics much. I mean, I really can't control it so why worry about it?
What I can control: My blog content.

Issue: Undercover cop doing odd driving behavior which resulted in me feeling followed.
Reality: Maybe he was following me, maybe he was just driving quite weird. Thing is, if he was following me he was just hoping I would speed so he could give me a ticket as he pulled off from the side of the road (opposite going traffic by the way) to turn around to my side of the road, pulled over in front of me, and then scooted in behind me.
What I will do: Get over it and stop worrying.
What I can control: How I drive. It may have been nothing but it made me uncomfortable. I pulled into a busy parking lot and just let he go on his merry way.

So you see, it was really just little, insignificant things added to perhaps intense, overwhelming, marathon training emotions and my response was a bit crazy. Really, when I told the story to my sister on the phone I couldn't keep a straight face as it was somewhat comical. Seriously, try saying this with a straight face, "I think a cop was following me to see if I would speed so he could give me a ticket so I am not going to blog anymore."

The point is, blogging does open me up but I can control how open and exposed I am. I have always been safe and will always be safe. But what I am going to do now is take a little break from blogging, clear my head, and I will be back Monday, August 27th, to tell you more!

Love and Happiness!

7 comments:

  1. Sooo glad you are not quitting blogging completely!!! I enjoy your posts so much! Don't worry about how you felt...you knew in your heart those things bothered you and that's ok. Enjoy your break and I will be waiting for you next post! :-)

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  2. I've had a few hits on my blog from questionable sources as well. Did you go to that site and actually see your blog linked? I went once to find out what was going on and once I discovered what kind of a site it was, I quickly closed the window. My hubby said sometimes spammers can somehow make hits appear on your stats, though no one else will ever know.

    I also worry about my safety when it comes to blogging- it would be so easy for someone to read my blog, get details about where I run and then go find me. I try to keep my last name off my site, and I *never* talk about my runs in advance, only after I've finished them. I also make sure I take all the gps data off Daily Mile before I upload a run. I'm not sure if all this makes a difference or if it's false security, but why tempt fate?

    Nonetheless, enjoy your blogging-free days- we'll see you Monday! =)

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  3. :) Glad you are taking it easy. Give yourself the time and space, but know that you DO motivate people. They and I will always be here to read, contemplate, celebrate, appreciate and enjoy your thoughtful postings when they do occur.

    Doing the same myself in my other social media sites while playing with the one blog that is grounding me. See you later. Enjoy, live, love! Simple isn't it.

    Namsate my friend.

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  4. Living on an island and being an open blogger is tough... people are going to recognize you, so being cautious of your content, being aware of your surroudings, and pretty much controlling what you can control is the best you can do. Continue being smart and I think you'll be fine:)

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  5. I had this same thing happen recently...and I don't think it's a link to your blog out there...i think it's spam.
    Any way it stinks!

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  6. Im so thankful youre sticking around! You motivate me!! BUT your safety does come first!!
    I had some weird links too, turned out they were spam.

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  7. I am so happy to see you back in the blogging world. As a somewhat new blogger, seeing your post kind of freaked me out. In fact, I don't think I have blogged since reading it (I have always been overly empathetic!). In any case, I am glad you were able to work through it and come back out to the blogging world. Take care of yourself though!

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