In week 10 of my training I kinda flopped on my long run. You can read about it HERE. I look back on that day as a successful failure. I failed in running 20 miles but I succeeded in running 8 miles and it built the foundation I needed for this past weekend. I really wanted those 20 miles.....deep down inside. I was feeling very insecure, doubtful, and nervous about my capabilities.
Come Friday I was itching to run mainly because I wanted it done and over. I wanted to know I could do it. And it amazed me how doubtful my mind was since this was to be the second 20 mile training run in this training series. I know I could do it. I had....just not the weekend before.
13 miles. I had doubts about the merit of such a long pause in a run to get from part 1 to part 2 but figured getting it done was the most important part. After a pit stop for drinks we made the 30-minute or so trip to our next running spot. I got darling daughter into the jogging stroller quite easily but in that first mile she asked three times if we were done. Oh my! Not a good sign. We also had to make a run back to the car to get a toy
I don't think it was the running with a jogging stroller per se but people were everywhere today and I felt I had to keep dodging them or come to stops to avoid those stepping out right in front of us. There was also some construction going on that made areas of the sidewalk impossible or difficult to pass. We were nearing the end and darling daughter was still ready to call it quits. I was at 4.76 miles of the final 7 miles I needed and felt hot, lightheaded, and defeated. I called it quits mainly because I feared I was about to pass out from heat (it was now noon) and questioned if darling daughter was as hot as I was. I took her to the park she wanted to play at and tried to run some more but called it quits again at an additional 0.41 miles mainly because all the parents were staring at me like I was a crazy lady and I just wanted to play with my darling daughter.
We had a blast and then headed out to lunch and to do our errands. It was a long day and on the drive home I told darling daughter I wasn't going to take my running shoes off until I finished my 20 miles. She said I better not. I got home, got her situated with a snack and TV, and hopped on the treadmill for my final bit of running. I had about a minute to go and my phone rang and I could tell it was my mom calling the second time for the day. Oops...I never responded to her first message. But I declared I was not going to stop, that I was going to finish my run, that I could finish my run, and darling daughter looked up to me and said, "you better not quit" and I didn't. With about 30 seconds left I felt my eyes swelling up with tears and I was an emotional crazy lady. And yes, at the end I cried because those 20 miles were the best in my life. I fought for them and I won. I was given many good reasons to quit. 17.76 would have been okay. I stopped due to heat. It was a smart decision. Just over 18 miles would have been fine too. I stopped to play with my daughter. But 20 miles was my goal and 20 miles I ran...split between the gym treadmill, jogging stroller, park loops, and incline treadmill. And it was just what I needed to get my confidence back. And now I am ready to complete my training to run my second marathon in September. And I am looking to PR....perhaps not break 4 hours yet but I will PR. I will.
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful for my family.
Daily Affirmation: I create opportunities for myself to succeed.
P.S. This is my 13th half marathon+ for 2012.
P.P.S. Correction - this is really for training week 12. Oopsie!