All this was going through my mind when my alarm went off at 4:15 am. I was supposed to get up and go running but I started pondering how I didn't feel strong anymore. I felt
To put things in perspective for you here is what I have been doing. I ran 18 miles on the 1st and loved each step. Monday I did 1.5 miles. Tuesday through Saturday I did a daily mile mainly because I tweaked my hip on July 4th. I got a massage on Saturday and I was all crooked before and achy after. On Sunday I ran 3.25 miles and I could feel my body flushing aches out. Yesterday I squeezed in a mile before taking darling daughter to school and went to a chiropractor in the afternoon. That in itself is a topic for another post. And today I lingered in bed so long I only had time to run 2 miles before work. And that is where I am....stuck. Aching. Doubtful.
I know the aches are due to my muscles readjusting. It is to be expected after deep tissue massages. I was told to expect it after my adjustment (and I have to go in for a recheck tomorrow to see if things are holding). I know I am working my muscles in new ways to get them back to where they are supposed to be. I know I am not turning into a weakling incapable of running over the past few days. I know that this week was to be a recovery week anyhow so I shouldn't be beating myself up. But I want to get my game back on. I want to feel strong again.
And in all reality, to get my game back on I have to step up to the plate and be ready to get my game back on. Tomorrow I NEED to get up early and run before work because if I don't I risk not being able to run tomorrow. If the chiropractor has to do another adjustment she will ask me to take the evening off again to allow the work to take root. So I WILL get up early and run tomorrow morning.
I know I have uncertainties about getting back into my long run schedule but I really do have confidence that I will make it happen. I know I am concerned about juggling my training schedule with my mom being here for three weeks but I have faith I will make it happen. No one can give me confidence in myself. Only I can take away my confidence. Only I can give it back. So it is time for me to suck it up. Stop feeling sorry for myself. Stop letting a little ache bring me down.
I will make my dreams happen and so will you!
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful I can share my insecurities to a wonderful online community.
Daily Affirmation: I am strong.