1.23.2012

Thoughts from a tired running mom

I have full of randomness today so I thought I would go ahead and share it all! Or some of it.

First, thanks so much for all the supportive comments on my "I am running this weekend, you know" post. I really do appreciate each and every comment! Dear hubby ended up doing well and you can see that HERE. And yes, I will try to get some ocean pictures up on my blog soon. And yes, if you have a longer race on 2/29/12 you can count your 2.9 splits for the Leap Year Virtual Run.

Second, a thought popped into my head last night. Actually, it was a quote from a movie and although I can see the actors, I can't remember the name. Essentially it was "you can't lead because you have never lost" or something along those lines. I have been thinking hard on that concept and totally agree.

I don't know about you but the runners that inspire me the most are the ones that have "lost". And here I don't mean coming in last per se or losing the gold but the ones who have paid a larger price. For example, the runners who have cut their runs short and not achieved what was on their training plan because their kiddos woke up from a nap, got sick at school, it is the end of the school day, or just can't take it anymore. These runners rock because they accept "defeat", push themselves, and find a way to keep getting out there to run.

And what about all the runners who have been injured and couldn't run? These guys and gals are true heroes because they have had to endure not running for x-amount of time, didn't go utterly crazy or perhaps they did, and got back to it when they could.

In addition, I know there are other runners out there like me that drag themselves out of bed at 4:00 am to get a long run in while they can because later in the day, it won't be able to happen. Trust me, I'm not saying I am a hero but it is hard and can bug the beziggins (I just made that up) out of you on a day like today when I inadvertently overslept so those 10 miles will have to be tomorrow. Argh!

There are so many runners out there going above and beyond and I am inspired by these runners. So I am sorry if I am not overly sympathetic when a runner who hasn't dealt with these type of things wants more sympathy for the simple fact that running is hard and hurts. Yes it is and yes it does. That is what makes it wonderful.

Okay, I am off of my soap box. I guess the oversleeping and terrible dreams got the best of me...that and number three.

Third, I am a sensitive person. Too sensitive I think. And I am hard on myself and I just need to shout this out to the world so I can "forgive" myself for feeling stressed about small issues in my life when there is a family missing a dear loved one, an 8-year old child in Texas fighting for his life (my sister knows the family and hearing the story broke my heart), and an 80+ woman holding on desperately not willing to let go yet. My friend is by her mom's side, hospice is there, and this has been a long sad story that started over a year ago with a stroke. Really, my life is great and I know that. So why can't I stop worrying over bills? Why can't I just have faith and all will turn out fine with darling daughter's birthday party? (She really wants friends from school to come and I fear they won't. I don't really know the parents and I am a worry wort. I just don't want her to be hurt.)

All in all, what I need right now is a good roadside run where I can process all my emotions and scream out if I want. Yes, I have done that a couple of times.....when I found out my dad had leukemia and that it wasn't looking good in terms of treatment and when I was processing Sherry Arnold's story in my second run over a week ago. Try it sometime, it feels good.....

Today I am grateful for:
  • Being able to vent and let loose all my emotions on a blog
  • My dear hubby completing his first marathon
  • Honesty
  • Folded clothes
  • Blog comments....really, thank you!

9 comments:

  1. I like this post. I think because I feel the same as you at times. And yes, that roadside run/yell can be a huge help, so see if you can sneak out for one (even if it's tomorrow morning at 4am!) I give you HUGE credit for being dedicated enough and able to do that.

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    1. Thanks! It is hard to get up early but worth it. It helps me function better at work and co-workers that are close to me are beginning to detect when I haven't run yet and need a run.

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  2. Sometimes it's hard not to worry even if you know other people are going through things that are way worse than you but it doesn't make your stuff any easier though. A run always helps sort out those times and seems to make things more bearable. Casting my cares on God is what helps me because I know He cares for me :) "casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
    You are awesome for getting up at 4 am and running, I can't do that, partly because my baby girl sleeps with me and wakes up if I get up and it just seems too early!

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    1. Thanks for the quote and support. I am fortunate enough to be able to sneak out of the bed but stuff pillows by darling daughter in my attempt to trick her. It doesn't always work.

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  3. I've let a couple yelps out on runs before. It can feel good! Mostly they occur if my thoughts were wandering over stresses in life and I get to a road and have to stop for traffic. The funniest wasn't even a time I my thoughts were wandering. I was working hard to beat a time for 10 miles and got to a busy street and was ready to run across, but there were cars coming. Also, to cyclists went zipping around the corner (like I used to) right when I let it out. They laughed and said sorry- I told them it wasn't them but the cars and I was on a great speedy stretch! After it was clear, I continues on, but laughing while doing so.

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    1. Thanks for the laugh! I could totally visualize the yelping at cars and reactions I could get. Fortunately my yelps have been unseen....at least as far as I know....but the last one with cars driving by could have been heard.

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  4. Oh yes, go ahead and scream! It is good to let the tension out physically and noisily sometimes.

    I hope things work out for your sweet girl's birthday party... hard to think about our loved ones having hurt feelings.

    You are such an amazing Mom!

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  5. You are amazing...nevery forget that. www.dashingdiva.net

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  6. Catching up on all your posts because I'm a little behind! Aww, sweetie, it's ok, we all feel that way at some point...that is why we run. It's ok to vent away...we are here to listen. Be good to yourself, run, hug your daughter, and trust that in the end, everything will work out. Hugs to you! Xoxo

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