2.21.2011

My Inspiration

It seems so perfect that my father's birthday has always been so close to President's Day. The United States President has a huge job and is meant to be the leader of many. In all reality, I am sure we all underestimate the challenges the President must face and how hard it is really to do his job. But still, many of us are able to reflect back and name a President that we feel is or was excellent. One we feel truly overcome the challenges, led us in the right direction, and is someone we can ask our children to as an example of greatness and who is perhaps our hero.

My hero is my Dad. His temperant was always cool and collective. His sense of humor was enlightening. He was witty, he was brilliant, and he was dedicated to his family. He loved my Mom and as a child growing up, I always knew how much he loved and cherished her and that he would always be there for us all.

A year ago at this time I was anxiously awaiting to fly back with my daughter to visit him and my family. We were supposed to arrive on his birthday but due to my daughter getting sick, we delayed our flight. I couldn't get there quick enough. I wanted him to know how much he meant to me, how much I cherished him, and I wanted to ask him a billion questions.

However, when I finally got there I was just content to be in his presence, to see him, to hear his voice, to know I could hug him whenever I wanted. My questions and words floated away. I was as close to peace as I could be. I was even content sleeping in the other room with my daughter instead of watching late night TV with him and my mom, knowing they were together and they were near.

This year I need to face my Dad's birthday without him. I won't be able to call him, to say happy birthday, to hear his voice. I miss him so much and even though I know he is here with me, it isn't quite the same. He was the first person I confided to with my goal of running a marathon. I will keep to that goal and not give up no matter how hard it may get because I run to honor him, to remember him. It is my promise to him, my link to him. It is hard to explain but it is what it is.

My Dad set the bar high for all husbands and dads. He was truly magnificent and he is my guiding angel. At times I feel bad I hold my husband to the bar my father set because it is asking for near perfection but I am one who has always and will always strive for perfection. (Trust me, I do realize no one is truly perfect.) It is out of my love for my Dad that I write today. I miss him terribly but try to find some sort of comfort that he is indeed a larger part of my life now, guiding my actions and decisions, compelling me to be a better mother, sister, daughter, and wife. Compelling me to be the hero he truly is. Compelling me to be worthy of remembrance and honor as we remember and honor the great President's in our history.

Happy Running!

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